Purpose of the Conference:
Our Mission – To inspire people to unite and make a difference in the carceral systems.
Our Vision – is to cultivate a more empathetic world for anyone impacted by the carceral systems.
Our Goals – To apply a holistic focus by inspiring positive changes in all persons impacted by carceral systems and to provide a safe space for people across all disciplines and backgrounds to share and discuss innovative solutions towards a just carceral system.
“The Ripple Effect” of the Conference
Initiated in 2009 as a project of Community Solutions of El Paso, a nonprofit grassroots organization then providing services to children and families impacted by the criminal justice system since 2001. The parent organization addressed three critical factors preventing success for far too many returning citizens and their families:
- Shame, embarrassment and fear silenced the prison family. Upon leaving prison, most returning citizens (and their loved ones) wanted to bury the entire traumatic experience. Their resulting silence denied the larger community the opportunity to know the outstanding individuals comprising the prison family.
- Hiding in shame and fear created an Empathy Gap, a protective shield that impedes, and in many cases prevents successful community reentry and family reintegration for those affected by incarceration. Unknowing community members worked alongside of former prisoners; sat right next to prison family members in their houses of worship; attended school together with a silent barrier preventing community members from ever knowing their circumstances – their pain.
- All persons affected by the criminal justice system are traumatized, and we are all affected and most people don’t even know it.
People fear what they don’t know. The inability to personally know prisoners or their loved ones prevents the community from embracing the exceptional intelligence and talents of those directly impacted by incarceration personally and/or professionally.
It was believed the conference could and would have a Ripple Effect opening various avenues for bridging that important Empathy Gap.
It has.
In fact, community members with no personal connection to criminal justice were the first to bring the powerful impact of this conference to our attention.
Two sisters with no previous ties to criminal justice authored a book on finances under the pen names of “Red and Black.” Very unexpectedly their book landed in a prison with the thought it could enlighten inmates on financial management, especially in a crisis. In the process, the sisters had two moving experiences that bridged the Empathy Gap:
- They had direct interaction with prisoners. While unplanned, this interaction burst many erroneous myths and stereotypes about incarcerated persons.
- In promoting their book as a useful tool for prison families, they attended several of our conferences. Meeting many prison family members and secular and faith-based professionals serving the prison family, their direct interaction burst many erroneous myths and stereotypes about families and supporters of incarcerated persons.
In a keynote address to conference attendees, Red and Black noted their prior lack of knowledge and understanding of the incarceration experience. They were honest about why they had attended the conference in the first place – they wanted to sell books. Then they noted how stepping out of their comfort zone into the conference and prison swept them into an undulating Ripple Effect of awareness and even empathy for an entire population they would never have otherwise known. They expressed their gratitude for the opportunity to know the truth about prisoners and their loved ones.
Never minimizing the trauma experienced by victims of crimes, but recognizing the power of the Ripple Effect the conference created, we took stock.
Acknowledging the detrimental Empathy Gap created by a vicious cycle of incarceration, shame and hiding, the organization took the bold step of encouraging those directly impacted by incarceration to tell their stories; to enable the community to recognize them as intelligent; talented and valuable persons forever lost to our communities by perpetually shunning entire families due to the incarceration of a family member.
The conference comfortably provided a desperately needed public venue that has remained:
a safe and healthy place to openly discuss all issues related to the traumatic impact of incarceration;- a credible place to provide and receive validation and support for the traumatic impact of incarceration, not only on the prison family, but on the community as a whole;
- a resource for best practices not simply to survive, but to thrive throughout the entire incarceration experience;
- a primary initiator of partnerships, collaborations and friendships strengthening all services to those traumatized by incarceration personally and/or professionally, across the nation and internationally.
In 2019 the Board of Directors made the decision to incorporate the conference as a standalone nonprofit organization. Today, as the conference heads into its thirteenth year it is recognized as a leader in effective advocacy and is instrumental in the development of effective resources and services for the humane and effective treatment of all persons affected by incarceration and that is all of us.
Far more than merely a traditional conference, the annual event provides information and valuable resources in a non-judgmental, welcoming setting, whether live or virtual, where it is safe to share openly about having been affected by incarceration.
OUR TEAM
- Board of Directors
Barbara Allan – New York
It is somewhat fortuitous that Barbara Allan (alphabetically) heads the names of the conference Board of Directors, as in fact she is considered to head up the longest operating organization serving prison families. Barbara was a school teacher, a wife, a mother who had no contact with the criminal justice system until 1968 when her husband was incarcerated. Then, alone, devastated and confused she began talking with two other women in the prison waiting room. Together, recognizing the benefit of their support for one another, they formed Prison Families Anonymous as a nonprofit organization which is now believed to have been the first-ever prison family support group in the United States. For the past fifty years, Barbara has remained at the helm of the organization, dedicated to easing the pain of all families affected by the incarceration of a loved one. Through the years she has become increasingly involved in criminal justice reform, especially in the State of New York where she has taken the message of how the prison system has grown and succeeded by its failures to legislators and social service leaders and the general public time and again. Barbara successfully raised her two daughters and until today continues to facilitate prison family support groups. She has represented Prison Families Anonymous before two reentry tasks force and the Suffolk County Criminal Justice Council and is on the board of the NYADP. Widely recognized for her many years of consistently loving and dedicated support and service to those affected by incarceration, Barbara was honored in New York as the Public Citizen of the Year. She has attended and supported the conference since finding it in its second year, referring to those she has met there as her “extended family.”
Kimberly Dearman – Texas
Kimberly C. Dearman is a non-practicing lawyer/landman who lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Craig. She received her B.S. from the University of Southern Mississippi in Psychology and her law degree from University of Mississippi (Ole Miss -Hotty Toddy). While practicing law in her hometown she grew a heart for incarcerated persons and their families. While in Hattiesburg, MS she served on several boards for transitional living facilities. She found the conference during such time as a participant and joined the board upon her move to Dallas, Texas in 2016. She is our behind the scenes advocate.
Dr. Avon Hart-Johnson – Washington, D.C.
Dr. Hart- Johnson is author, educator, and researcher. She is the president and co-founder of DC Project Connect (DCPC), a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) organization located in the Washington, DC area that provides crisis support, psychoeducational services, and advocacy for families of justice aligned individuals. Hart-Johnson oversees the portfolio of DCPC programming and reentry services provided to constituents and Washington, DC’s only residential reentry center (halfway house) for women. The critical underpinning of DCPC’s work is aligned with empirical research and her theoretical framework, Symbolic Imprisonment, Grief, and Coping Theory (Hart-Johnson, 2015). This theory holds that family members of the incarcerated can suffer their own vicarious imprisonment, grief, and strive to find ways to cope or survive the loss. Dr. Hart-Johnson’s drive and energy are evidenced in her collaboration and leadership on local, national, and international levels. She serves on advisory boards in the DC region, including Community Family Life Services (CFLS) Speaker’s Bureau and The Women’s Foundation. She is a member of the Reentry Action Network and Rethink Justice DC social justice advocacy groups. She is the chair of the International Advocacy in Action Coalition, a working group focused on mobilizing community advocates/leaders across the nation to foster social justice reform and social change in communities. She is the vice president of the International Coalition for Children With Incarcerated Parents (INCCIP.org). Avon chairs the conference Advocacy in Action Coalition.
Julia Lazareck – Nevada
Julia Lazareck is the president of Prison Families Alliance, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide resources and support to families and children affected by incarceration. Julia is an author, speaker and advocate for families affected by incarceration. Her Podcast, “Prison: The Hidden Sentence” and Book of the same name, provide information, guidance and support to anyone who has or a had a loved one in the prison system. Her goal is to raise awareness and to create a more empathetic society, so nobody has to serve the sentence with their loved one alone. Julia chairs conference activities related to children impacted by the criminal justice system.
James Prager – Ohio
Jim Prager is a prison survivor who was released in 2000. Since 2005 Jim has been an advocate for humane treatment of offenders, reentry programs which bring communities together, and a less punitive view of prisons and the individuals who live there.
Jim has been active in the International Prisoner Family Conference for many years, is a member of the Board, and a participant in Advocacy in Action. Jim is the author the book Mind of a Molester written under the name of Kenneth Quinn. He earned a social work license in 2011. Jim brings the clinical experience of an MSW along with the lived experience of prison life to work for change for both individuals and systems.
Kayla Victor – Washington
Kayla Victor is a dynamic, curiosity-driven professional with a diverse background across a wide range of projects. She has helped companies build and leverage business-to-business relationships, strengthen community outreach efforts, and ensure that every initiative is both impactful and enjoyable. A strategic, solution-oriented problem solver, Kayla approaches business with a 360-degree mindset, always prioritizing people and thinking creatively to overcome challenges.
Her experience spans multiple industries, from small businesses to Fortune 500 companies, and includes work in communication integration, advocacy, government affairs, marketing strategy, project management, business development, entertainment, and food/hospitality management.
Beyond her professional work, Kayla is deeply committed to giving back. She mentors young adults, volunteers with a variety of organizations, and is passionate about empowering children to realize their limitless potential and build a brighter future. In 2024, Kayla was honored with the President’s Volunteer Service Award Gold Medal in recognition of her outstanding volunteer efforts and dedication to making a positive impact in her community.
Melissa Victor – Texas
Melissa Victor discovered the importance of standing up for justice early in life. This ignited her lifelong commitment to advocating for equality and fairness. Raised in Texas, she was deeply influenced by her family’s values of community, justice, and equality. Holding a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology from the University of Houston, Melissa focuses on driving positive change within the criminal justice system.
With over 16 years of volunteering experience with the International Prisoners Family Conference, Melissa’s passion for advocating for those affected by the criminal justice system shines through. She also dedicated four years to Community Solutions, a cause dear to her heart. Melissa firmly believes that systemic change is key to creating a more just society. She is dedicated to reforming the prison system, eliminating the school-to-prison pipeline, and combating systemic racism. Melissa looks forward to continuing her impactful work for a brighter future for all those touched by the criminal justice system.
For over a decade, Melissa has been dedicated to her beloved job at Starbucks. Above all, her heart brims with adoration for Shiggity, her rescued canine companion who blissfully remains unaware of his canine status.
Carolyn Esparza
About the Founder
The world’s light is shining a little dimmer with the passing of Carolyn Sandra Esparza on January 27, 2023: a compassionate woman and dedicated advocate for many.
Carolyn loved the story of ‘Leo the Late Bloomer’. From the story, she gleaned the lessons that led to her teaching her kids and others the principles of blooming wherever they are planted. ‘Bloom Where You are Planted’ was the theme for her last crazy 2022 Hospice misadventure…as she moved across the county from Texas to Oregon. The RV was even struck by lightning during this trip! She spent her last few months enveloped by the heartwarming love and laughter of her family, including her youngest grandchildren.
Carolyn was born in Canton, Ohio on May 3, 1942, to Marvin Sydney and Charlotte Ann (Scharff) Harrison. She was preceded in death by her parents and ex-husband, Joe Mayer Victor, the father of their four children. Carolyn is survived by her two daughters Kayla and Melissa Victor, and her sons Jeffrey and Joshua Victor (and his loving wife Kerri); grandchildren, Storm, Stone (Jeffrey’s), Avery and Elliette (Josh and Kerri’s) and her sister Wendy (Harrison) Bround and her husband Tom and niece Evelyn.
Carolyn often told stories of growing up in Canton, Ohio sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he played pinochle and smoked cigars. She loved playing with her cousins and spending time with her mother. One of her favorite books was ‘Little Engine That Could’, she always remembered the lesson of being persistent and working your way through challenges.
In her early years, Carolyn attended Plain Center Elementary for first and second grade. At the age of ten, Carolyn moved with her family to Odessa, Texas where she attended San Jacinto grade school until the sixth grade. Then she attended Botham Junior High. At the age of fourteen, she attended the prestigious high school at Hockaday in Dallas, Texas. Her summers were spent creating life-long memories at Echo Hill Ranch and eventually she attended the University of Texas in Austin where she earned her degree in English. Her college job was working at a law firm in Austin. In the mid-’60s, Carolyn met and married Joe Mayer Victor and they moved to San Antonio to raise their family. Carolyn was married to Joe for 11 years. Upon their divorce, she worked during the day and attended school at night at Our Lady of the Lake University to earn her Master’s Degree in social work, a profession she’d dreamed of as a young child.
Carolyn was not only a loving Mom, but she was also a cancer survivor of over 40 years.
Some of the memories her kids will treasure are the times they spent together, editing and correcting school and professional papers, arts and crafts, visiting flea markets, antique shops, junk stores, rodeos, listening to Casey Kasem’s top 100 countdown, going to museums, the zoo, times on the Riverwalk and La Villita, Kiddie Park, Playland Park, Brackenridge Park, Macarthur Park, McAllister Park, Hemisfair, drive-in movies, Fiesta, making costumes, all the trips to the pool or Canyon Lake for swimming, car rides to visit her parents and vacations, driving fast over the bumps (before seat belts), shopping at places that are no longer in business like Solo-Serve, Globe and Buster Browns, scrumptious meals, family events, family calls, her writing their school newsletters, and sewing their clothes, and most importantly how she made them feel loved, supported and encouraged them to be their own authentic selves.
Her youngest grandkids will always remember the day, when she was about 77 years old, that she went roller skating with Avery and Elliette at Oaks Park Roller Rink.
She authored many papers and two books, “The Parenting Business: Hindsight is 20/20” and “The Unvarnished Truth about the Prison Family Journey”.
Carolyn will be most remembered for her tireless devotion to helping families: whether it was helping families who immigrated, adoptions, or families of prisoners. She had a helping heart for bringing families together. Carolyn was inspired to help people smile. She was an artist who used her creativity in her social work over the years.
Her career spanned many decades of helping. Whenever Carolyn saw a need she stepped into action. She pioneered many firsts in her career. While she was an independent social worker, she helped a family with the first open adoption in the state of Texas. Another first was her work with the first mediation center in Bexar County Texas.
Her career spanned:
- Over 30 years of therapeutic intervention with individuals, families and groups; treatment program assessment and development. Over 25+ years of behavioral health consultation and facilitator of workshops, seminars, training, team building and classroom instruction.
- Over 20 years of administration in behavioral health programs, program development, and assessment, community relations.
- Over 10 years of court-ordered assessment and expert witness testimony in civil and criminal litigation.
She had a spine made of steel when it came to doing the right thing. If she saw something wrong, she said something. While working on adoption at Texas Cradle Society she saw unethical things happening and said something. This resulted in her bringing home pregnant young girls to help them find housing whilst looking for another job for herself.
Another time Carolyn spoke up was whilst she was working as the Director of Treatment at High Plains Youth Center’s maximum-security residential treatment program. She was facilitating training in Sex Offender Treatment when she noticed abuse and inadequate care. It took many years for the investigation to conclude that she was correct. However, in the meanwhile, she lost her job for reporting the allegations. Carolyn was never one to turn her back on doing the right thing.
For many years, Carolyn stayed connected with, “her kids” from her work at the Texas Youth Commission Gidding State Home & School that had two maximum-security adolescent residential treatment dormitories housing in excess of one hundred youth. She was passionate about her work and always taught that no child was born bad. One of her most memorable moments with them was when she gave these maximum-security juvenile offenders bubbles. She wanted them to have the opportunity to just be a kid, for many it may have been the first time in their life they were able to do so. She, initiated, developed, and facilitated Progressive Treatment Programs; Victim Awareness Groups, and dorm staff training programs. She was also on the Family Involvement Program, and initiated, developed, and facilitated a Group Art Therapy Program. She also developed and implemented a Family Issues Treatment Program for adjudicated youth in a maximum-security residential facility, including facilitation of individual and family therapy.
Her work helping families encouraged her to create the Trouble Bubble game. More information can be found on the Trouble Bubble at the Internationals Prisoners’ Conference YouTube Channel Trouble Bubble on YouTube.
During the time that she worked with children who had a loved one in prison, she founded Community Solutions of El Paso. Carolyn’s mission and commitment to creating solutions for El Paso were inspiring and rare. Because of her, youth and families with loved ones in prison were given an opportunity to succeed. She empowered people who otherwise felt marginalized. She created one of the few programs in the country that did outreach to families of prisoners and assisted prisoners in their healthy re-entry into society.
During her work with these families, she saw the need to help families know they were not alone, so she founded the first-of-its-kind Prisoners’ Family Conference to provide families with loved ones who are incarcerated with a place to feel safe, share thoughts and ideas and have a sense of belonging. The Conference is often described as a magical place where people get to understand how they become part of a bigger family.
Carolyn was the Volunteer Director of San Antonio Area Texans Do Care (prison ministry), and was the Unplanned Pregnancy Services Coordinator for Lutheran Social Services. She also worked for a short time as a Child Protective Services Caseworker for the Texas Department of Human Services and was a Resettlement Program Coordinator for Jewish Family Services. She taught Sociology and Introduction to Criminal Justice at Morgan Community College and also taught at Park University in El Paso, Texas.
Amongst her daughter, Melissa’s fond memories are her mom’s many interests which may surprise some. She really enjoyed “good” music, which meant it had to be up-tempo, from country to rap, as long as you can dance to it. She enjoyed going to dances. She even asked our dad whom she had been divorced from for 16 years, if he’d like to dance, when “All My Exes Live In Texas” was playing at “an event”. Obviously, she had a great sense of humor. We laughed countless times over the years and we will cherish them all. We admire her for her empathy, warrior-like spirit, and loving nature. We will miss the laughs, advice, our talks, our biggest cheerleader, and someone that always has our back.
Her youngest grandson Avery will miss being her IT guy and will miss her being there to talk to.
Her youngest granddaughter Elliette will miss drawing her pictures and appreciated her grandma giving her Cowie, her favorite stuffie.
Meredith, her adopted niece, will miss her general curiosity for always wanting to learn, and her sassy and funny nature.
One of her favorite shows was ‘THIS IS US’ – Her kids thought this quote was fitting because Carolyn never liked goodbyes. “If something was so sad it must have been good. Everything ends and everything dies, but if you step back and look at the whole picture if you are brave enough to allow yourself the gift of a really wide perspective, if you do that, you will see that the end is not sad. It is just the start of the next incredibly beautiful thing.“ We trust now that Carolyn has left us, she is starting her next incredibly beautiful thing.
For those who knew her, she will never be forgotten. If you have your own special story or she touched you life in some way, her family would love to hear you. Please send them to Kayla @ Kayla Victor dot com
The family plans to hold a life celebration on her birthday on May 3, 2023, in the Portland, Oregon/ Vancouver, Washington area. More information to follow.
The family asks that you please consider honoring Carolyn so her work can continue with a memorial contribution to the non-profit Carolyn founded. Donation to the International Prisoners’ Family Conference prisonersfamilyconference.org or Mt. Hood Hospice who provided her and her family with excellent care. https://mthoodhospice.com/donations/
CONTACT US. WE LOVE SHARING INFORMATION ABOUT OUR WORK.
Mailing Address:
Prisoners’ Family Conference
Box 874052
Vancouver, WA 98687
E-mail: [email protected]
Phone: (915) 861-7733